Seeing Clearly
Somewhere along the seawall
I lost a bag containing
Every bit of understanding
About the way the world works
I kept walking because it was hopeless
The ocean churned and crashed
Sand and foam to cover my footprints
Like I'd never been there at all
There was one place open on the Midway
A pizza joint wedged in
Between the old arcade and a tarot card reader
-press your luck, kids, tell your future?
I took up the booth by sitting with my knees
Against the cloudy and wet window
Steam from my clothes and the kitchen making
A blurry world through the glass
Everything partially hidden:
My face in my hood,
The window fogged and greyscale
The short cook's head behind the high counter
People hurrying by, heads bowed against the storm
I pushed one cold and clammy finger
Against the pane and formed a droplet, a tiny crystal ball
To see myself in the condensation and reflection
Neon signs adding harsh color like laughter in a church
The window twisted sideways
And it wasn't me anymore
Not this girl of flesh and bone
Lost in the wind and rain
It was some ageless shaman
Or compilation of lifetimes
That tapped a golden finger on my hand
And looked at me, amused
She blinked an epoch at me
Jangling her bracelets
And with that blink plucked my flags off
Every hill I'd set them on
"Silly little sweetheart, now are you done with fear? Can we finally get started, now that you are free?"
I nodded; and she made the window shatter at the center
The light, the wet, the hiding gone, so all that could remain
Was my heart, my soul, my jangled spirit, and a gaping crater
The space where knowledge had been, empty to fill again.
